Making It Personal: My Journey Through Clinical Depression And Healing
Sharing this on social media/Internet was not easy. However, it will be worth if this can help anyone. Being a therapist and sharing this might not be a good image-building idea, but that is alright since primary motive is to help and stand with all who face similar issues.
I grew up with some degree of inferiority complex. Right from childhood to adulthood, I was called dark, thin, fat, short, ugly, rude, not homely enough etc. While initially others used to tell me that I was above mentioned things, when they stopped, I started telling myself that I am all those and worse. And it all came together to teach me a life lesson.
The Reality of Postpartum Depression and Body Image Issues
During my first pregnancy, I had taken a break from work which meant losing financial independence and after the birth of my first child, the extra weight on my allegedly ‘unshapely’ body left me broken from within. I had postpartum depression which went unchecked and after a year and half I was diagnosed with clinical depression.
My husband was a pillar of support before, during and after my pregnancy and he continues to be. He not only loved and cared but also pampered me. I had lovely and helpful neighbours , I was in touch with my friends, I was reading good books and doing things that I like but nothing could save me from getting clinical depression.
I believed I understood my own mind. When my psychiatrist asked what bothered me most, I had two clear answers that heavily fed into my low self-esteem and depression: body image and financial dependency.
The Illusion of the "External Fix"
I set out to "fix" myself. I consulted a dietitian and lost 15 kgs in nine months. I landed a high-paying job. The two primary "reasons" for my depression were officially gone.
And yet, it happened anyway.
One evening, on my day off, I was alone in our new 17th-floor apartment. My child was at daycare so I could have some "me-time." Suddenly, a voice inside my head began frantically telling me to jump—a terrifying wave of negative self-talk and anxiety.
I called helplines, but I met only dead air, unanswered rings, or disconnections. Eventually, I called a friend who couldn't come but she made me talk to a psychiatrist. The doctor stayed on the phone with me until my husband walked through the door. Later the doctor told me that this wasn't a suicidal episode (but close to it) because I was reaching out and calling for help.
That phase was short and I was able to resist with help of good people, my will power and guilt (because I had sent my child to daycare for my me-time).
The Realization: Addressing the Subconscious Mind Blueprint
That episode made one thing undeniably clear: My body image and financial status were symptoms, not the cause. Depression is not always a response to life circumstances; it is an internal state that requires deeper work. This experience showed me how easily we can fall into a loop of chronic stress and emotional exhaustion when our underlying trauma goes unaddressed.
We need to "teach" our subconscious mind blueprint to be respectful toward ourselves. We must learn to love ourselves, forgive our own follies, and, most importantly, understand our own thought patterns through active subconscious mind reprogramming.
This realization changed my life. Hypnotherapy helped me so profoundly that I decided to become a clinical hypnotherapist myself. I wanted to help others navigate the labyrinth of their own minds.
A Final Thought on Mental Health Self-Care
Even if you aren't struggling with clinical depression, visiting a therapist can be life-changing. Just as we go for physical health checkups, our mental health requires regular care. Clinical hypnotherapy for stress and anxiety is a powerful preventative tool to keep your inner world aligned.
Don't wait for a crisis. Take a moment to "check up" on yourself today.
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